On first impressions, Dan, an easy-going and successful sales manager, may appear to have the world at his feet but, like many in life, he’s felt the weight of the world on his shoulders. Born in Taranaki and growing up in Christchurch, Dan struggled with his identity. Dan’s mother was of Māori descent while his father was Scottish. “I grew up in a space I felt disconnected to and I felt disconnected to who I was,” Dan says, “I didn’t belong in any world, Māori or otherwise.”

James was always putting out fires. A successful businessman, husband, father and career firefighter, he’s faced his fair share of challenges. Yet he realised fighting wasn’t serving him well. “My weeknights were spent fighting others through engaging in martial arts. That was my release,” James says, “A psychologist said to me, ‘It’s not healthy. You live your life fighting. You are telling me you think it’s good for you and I’m telling you, as a professional, it’s not good

Gilbert describes his upbringing as, “privileged” yet he struggled to find his feet in a family of academics and achievers. “Education really wasn’t my thing. I remember mum being in tears having gone to parent/teacher interviews. All she ever heard were problems. She stopped going.” “My reports were never flash. I’d get put down. That still impacts me today.” After failing fifth form twice, Gilbert was sent away to boarding school in Nelson. At 16 years, Gilbert flew solo an

No man’s land is a funny place to be but it’s where Alan often found himself with his endeavours to please the important people in his life. Peaceful and easy-going by nature, Alan says it was his sense of humour that got him through any adversity in his life. While longevity runs in the family (Alan’s father is just a few years shy of 100), Alan sadly lost his older son in a car versus truck accident. He was just 20 years old. “He was quite an angry man,” Alan remembers, “He

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Empower your male clients with a structured, trusted group program that complements your clinical care. A trusted program with over 30 years of impact. Essentially Men offers powerful weekend workshops (Men Being Real being the flagship event) and an ongoing peer-supported community that helps men develop emotional resilience, communication skills, and authentic self-awareness. We work alongside counsellors, psychologists, and community organisations to support clients who ne

We recently won the chance, through One Day Video, to produce a video that speaks to what the Men Being Real programme and the...

Thoreau’s observation that ‘the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation’ resonates with me as I suspect it does for many New Zealand men. From a young age, our boys are taught not to cry and when things get tough, we are told to ‘harden up’ or ‘get over it’. Our culture rewards competitive behavior in men whilst men talking about their feelings is viewed as a sign of weakness. These stereotypical behaviors are now recognised as being incredibly damaging to generations of